


Smoke Break

by MagpieWords



Series: AUgust 2020 - Magpiewords [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Conversations, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Not of either of them, Smoking, could be pre-ship if you squint, self-care, sometimes healing is looking at art with a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25759672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagpieWords/pseuds/MagpieWords
Summary: “Aren’t we supposed to tell people those things will kill them?”Tony exhaled slowly, smoke curling around him. “I believe it’s called the Hippocratic Oath, not the hypocritic oath.”Dr. Stark and Dr. Wilson have a conversation about surviving their jobs.
Relationships: Tony Stark & Sam Wilson
Series: AUgust 2020 - Magpiewords [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1860265
Kudos: 12
Collections: AUgust 2020





	Smoke Break

**Author's Note:**

> wHY is there not a tag for Tony&Sam??? I cannot believe i have to fix this.
> 
> Anyway, here's an AU where the Avengers are doctors. Tony's a cardiac surgeon and Sam is a psychiatrist.
> 
> For those worried about the suicide warning, see end notes for an explanation.

There was never truly an easy day at this job. There were easier days, days were the ambulances wailed for a neurosurgeon instead. But heart attacks happen every day and even if Tony Stark, M.D. wasn’t in surgery every day, someone was always dying on the table in front of him.

Despite the eternal presence of death, Dr. Stark had one of the better success rates in the country. That’s why this hospital wanted him, wanted the entire team it staffed. They were the best, could handle the complicated cases other doctors weren’t cut out for. Tony could handle it, he told himself each morning as he got dressed in his scrubs. But after ten years, each morning looking at more gray hairs springing up around his temples, he wasn’t as confident when he said it.

He was confident for his patients, always. Told them he and his team would do anything they could to save their life, to save their loved one’s life, to make the pain go away. And they did everything they could. They were a good team, their success rates were high, but they weren’t gods. Every day, someone died with their blood (sometimes literally) on his hands. Every day, death.

The smell of antiseptic never bothered him until this week.

“Aren’t we supposed to tell people those things will kill them?”

Tony exhaled slowly, smoke curling around him. “Dr. Wilson.” He said by way of greeting, “I believe it’s called the Hippocratic Oath, not the hypocritic oath.”

The literal practice of a smoke break died out before either of them had finished medical school, but the concept still existed, evolving into a five minute dip outside to check social media or grab a breath of fresh air.

Dr. Sam Wilson seemed to be on one of the ‘social media’ themed breaks, taking out his phone. He and Tony only saw each other at the hospital on breaks like these. The neuropsych team and the cardiology team only overlapped in the rare cases of broken heart syndrome.

“Dr. Rhodes was looking for you,” he said, and Tony nodded. He loved Rhodey, of course, but anyone looking for him was usually bad news. It could wait until he’d finished his cigarette.

He held out the pack of Marlboros to Sam. “You want one?”

Sam looked up from his phone, considering for a moment. He slid his phone into the pockets of his jeans and Tony had to fight down a surge of jealousy. Sam’s jersey knit sweater looked so much more comfortable than Tony’s scrubs. Probably helped with all the face time he had with patients, too.

Then again, it would be a shame to splatter something so nice looking with the mess of humanity Tony’s job encountered.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Sam took a cigarette and placed it between his teeth.

Tony pulled his lighter out of his coat pocket and flicked it on. Sam leaned forward, breathing in as Tony held the flame inches from his face.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“I wouldn’t call myself a smoker,” Tony picked up the conversation thread. “It’s not my vice of choice, but I can’t exactly take a whiskey break between surgeries.”

Sam gave a single laugh at that, nodding as he took in a drag. “Yeah, I get that.” He coughed, making a face. “I haven’t smoked since college.”

“Smoking is bad for you, blah blah blah,” he felt obligated to say, even though Sam knew just as well as he did. “Do not tell our intern you caught me doing this.”

“Hypocrites’ oath.” Sam held up a hand with three fingers raised, a scout’s salute. Knowing Sam, he probably had been in the Boy Scouts. His smile managed to pull a smile out of Tony, as if it wasn’t already obvious that Dr. Wilson was perfect for his profession.

The smile faded and Sam turned a little more serious. “Rough day?”

“Don’t pull that crap on me,” Tony said, but there was no malice behind it. He took another long drag of his cigarette.

“You know I’m not legally allowed to do that.”

“Yeah, the drive to St. Lee’s is such a pain.” Tony tapped some ashes against the stone wall of the courtyard. The neighboring hospital was the closest place to get the mandatory mental health approval to continue this job, and thirty minutes never felt as long as that drive did. “And their psych isn’t nearly as fun as you.”

Sam snorted, snuffing out the barely used smoke without taking a second breath of it. “Argument could be made that Dr. Wong is actually very fun for not giving you access to narcotics.”

“You know, now that I think about it, you’re actually not that fun.”

Sam shrugged. He let the silence linger, an annoying trick anyone who studies the human mind knew how to do. Tony tried to wait it out, breathing in to let the smoke fill his lungs. The burn made him feel warm, even in the early October chill.

Sam just kept staring at him, phone still in his pocket. This hardly seemed like a break for him, in Tony’s opinion. Exhaling the smoke was the only way to break eye contact without feeling like a coward.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he finally admitted, watching the smoke curl as it faded away.

“Smoking? Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “This job. I lost two in a row today and it’s not even noon.”

“Fuck,” Sam agreed.

“Yeah. One was basically DOA, but that’s not the point. It’s– seeing the families after, it’s just–” Tony shook his head. “I mean, I could retire right now. With how much we get paid? I’d never have to work again.”

“Then why do you?”

“Why do you?” Tony shot back. “Most of the people I operate on come in unconscious so I only talk to them after they’ve been saved. You talk to so many people, get to know them, and I know you’ve lost some.”

Sam pretended to scribble something down on a clipboard. “Hostility, uh huh. Very glad Wong didn’t give you what you asked for.”

“Fuck off.” His cigarette was shrinking faster than he wanted.

More silence, but Sam broke it this time. “My best friend killed himself. We did everything together, then he was gone and I had no idea why. It happened right before college. I think I started in the engineering college, but I switched to psych. I didn’t really intend to become a doctor. I just wanted to understand why Riley was gone.”

“Sam, I–” But Sam held up a hand and Tony fell silent.

“No matter how much I learned, I still never understood. When you study this stuff, at a high enough level, they make you see a therapist. Like how post officers don’t deliver their own mail, or whatever.” He shrugged, not understanding the colloquialism even as he tried to make it make sense. “I fully intended to go into research, but talking about what happened… My questions were never answered, but I found different answers, if that makes sense.”

Tony nodded. That made more sense than the mail thing.

“I do this because for every person like Riley, there’s someone like me. Someone who I can help before it’s too late.” He held out his hand and Tony passed him the last remains of the cigarette without thinking twice. Sam took a deep drag, before squishing the end of the filter into the ashtray. The little trashcan it was built on top of was probably older than both of them. “And the pay doesn’t hurt.”

A laugh forced its way out of Tony’s mouth. “Yeah.”

“The second I leave this building, I stop thinking about this job. I use that fat paycheck to travel all over the world. I fill the walls of my house with art that I don’t understand but they make me smile. That’s why I can keep doing this.”

“Oh thank god, I never understand the art at your house either.” They laughed together and it was like something clicked into place in Tony’s chest. He couldn’t say he was struck with a realization, just a reminder of a truth he hadn’t paid much attention to in a long time. “I like fixing things. I’m good at fixing things. And in this job, things are usually very delicate arteries and muscle tissue. That’s why I do this.”

Sam nodded. “Of course, you could fix things that aren’t so life or death.”

“Could be a mechanic,” Tony suggested.

“Pay’s not as good though.”

“Everyone in my family is a doctor,” he admitted. For once, it felt less like a curse than usual. “I honestly can’t imagine doing anything else.”

There was a buzzing and Sam took out his phone. “Rhodes is still looking for you.”

“Back to the grind.” The urge to light another cigarette was a clawing ache he’d have to ignore for another few hours, but less powerful than it had been when he came out here.

“Hey.” Sam put a hand on his shoulder as Tony moved towards the door. “When’s your shift over?”

“Seven. You?”

“Just before then. Want to come over and try to make sense of the weird art I have?”

There were probably more exciting ways to spend his evening, but Tony found that none of them appealed as much as that offer did. Maybe looking at weird art with a friend would make this job a little easier. “That sounds fun. I’ll bring pizza,” he offered, before heading back into the hospital.

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning explanation: Sam talks about why he got into psychology, reason being that his best friend (Riley) killed himself when they were in high school. It is briefly mentioned, and referred to as something that happened a very long time ago.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Sometimes self-care is looking at weird art and sometimes self-care is writing a conversation between fictional characters. This story turned out to have way more metaphors and themes than I anticipated.


End file.
